can get a laptop here for four dollars!
Brunette: What?
Blonde: Yeah! And it's even big!
Brunette: We're at McDonald's. They don't sell computers.
Blonde: Yes they do! Check the menu! Big Mac - $4.
Brunette: .....
Guy: Say silk
Girl: Silk
Guy: Say it 5 times
Girl: silk silk silk silk silk
Guy: Spell silk
Girl: S-i-l-k
Guy: What do cows drink?
Girl: Milk! HA! U DIDN'T FOOL ME!
Guy: Actually they drink water.
Girl: Damn.
*little girl looks at her moms drivers license*
Girl: Mommy, I know why daddy left you.
Mom: Why is that?
Girl: You got an F in sex
Kid walks into a police station, went to the "WANTED" wall.
Police: Can i help?
Kid: Why are these people on the wall?
Police: We have to catch them, they're bad.
Kid: Why didn't u catch them when you took the picture?
Brunette Mom: i found cigarettes under my daughters bed i didnt know she was a smoker.
Redhead Mom: i found beer under my daughters bed i didnt know she was a drinker.
Blond Mom: i found condoms under my daughters bed i didnt know she had a penis.
Guy1 : Did you know that "sugar" is the only word in the english language that the "su" makes a "sh" sound?
Guy2 : Really?
Guy1 : Yeah, for sure.
Doctor: i have bad news and worse news.
Patient: what is it?
Doctor: u have 24 hrs to live.
Patient: omg! whats worse than that?
Doctor: i forgot to call you yesterday to inform.
Have you ever wondered why bras are lettered A,B,C,D,DD,E,F,G,H and how the letters acually define bra sizes?
A-almost boobs
B-barely boobs
C-cant complain
D-dang
DD-double dang
E-enormous
F-FAKE
G-get a reduction
H-help ive fallen and i cant get up!!
Bruno Mars: Had your eyes wide open, why were they open?
GF: Well, how do YOU know that they were open?
Bruno Mars: I saw them open.
GF: And to see that, YOUR eyes must've been open.
Bruno Mars: ...
Grandad : When I was your age all I got for christmas was an apple and a a few blackberrys.
Child : What? You got a laptop and 3 phones. Well arent you lucky :(
HAHAHA! TIMES WHEN IM BORED!